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Deserter

by Cave Radio

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Zach Biri
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1.
Romance Is Dead 03:28
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Romance is dead Go on and live your life You’ll end out ahead You’ll save a lot of time So try your best To read between his lines Or you’ll end up sent Spiraling between his lies You’ll have no regrets No doubt you’ll turn out fine If you expect nothing less Then the worst at all times And if you follow my advice Well, maybe you’ll make it The heart’s a fragile thing So don’t let him break it These ventricles of glass Well they aren’t shatterproof So take a step back Before he blows off the roof Romance is dead Romance is dead
2.
Deep Ressions 03:22
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I’m feeling pretty worthless I bet you know the feeling Said everybody done this The lesson will come in time But what if I’m done waiting For some big red arrow For some neon sign Or a yellow brick line I listen to my records To drown out the silence They only make it worse They make me think of you I know we got plans but See I just can’t stay here Alone with all my records Cause they won’t bring you near And now you’re going off with your friends And I’m staying at home again I should get out, I should get out But I don’t wanna do anything right now No, I don’t wanna do anything right now I’m feeling pretty tired But I just can’t sleep I bet you know the feeling Bet it makes you weak Cause all I wanna do is Live inside my dreams Cause sometimes you show up and sometimes we meet And now you’re going off with your friends And I’m staying at home again I should get out, I should get out But I don’t wanna do anything right now And so I sit out on the cold couch And I write this song and I throw it out Cause what if I never amount To where we meet, the place I dream about To where we meet, the place I dream about
3.
Seahorse 01:32
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4.
Alaska 04:49
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Blinding white Even night Where did all the darkness go? I can still feel it I’m not the one who sold your soul Not the one who told you no If anything you made me go Don’t turn out the light Cause it might not come back on Doorknobs exploding Frosty fingers holding Hands with gold things Beneath bridges burning Wolves howling Melancholy soundbites Footsteps crunching Making their way to somewhere They think of great importance but where? There’s a long road ahead They say it goes by quickly But all I see is never-ending You make it better Your breath in clouds combined with mine But where are you half the time You put your hand upon my knee And I saw through your wolf’s teeth Doorknobs exploding Frosty fingers holding Hands with gold things Beneath bridges burning Wolves howling Melancholy soundbites Footsteps crunching Making their way to somewhere They think of great importance but where? Leaving me to freeze, curled beneath dead leaves Leaving me to freeze, curled beneath dead leaves Leaving me to freeze, curled beneath dead leaves Leaving me to freeze, curled beneath dead leaves
5.
SAM 05:36
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Every night when I get home I look to see if you’re at my door But no black car is at my porch And you’re not thinking of me Well how’s that fair when all I do I sit around and think of you I tell myself that you’re not there So why do I keep looking? Sam, just walked away one day Couldn’t even do it to my face Now he sees me with a stranger’s gaze Why did you do this to me? My heart is dying My heart is dying My heart is dying My heart is dying Funny man You think that you’re so funny, man Well I laughed when you said you still wanted to be friends We can’t have that So I asked myself how I could have been better But the truth is I was fine And you’re just a coward, oh well We can’t have that Sam, just walked away one day Couldn’t even do it to my face Now he sees me with a stranger’s gaze Why did you do this to me? My heart is dying My heart is dying My heart is dying My heart is dying Why do I keep looking? Why do I keep searching? Why do I keep hoping? Why can’t I stop loving? Sam, just walked away one day Couldn’t even do it to my face Now he sees me with a stranger’s gaze Why did you do this to me? My heart is dying My heart is dying My heart is dying My heart is dying
6.
Get Out Of My Head 04:13
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Is this it? The life I’m meant to lead It feels like all the goodness inside me is gone What do you do? When the person who says that you’re no good Is you? How can you be wrong? No, don’t take that picture of me I’ll just look bad anyway It’s easy to see why he put you on a shelf When you can’t even love yourself Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my… Demons hide inside every good thought Every light In these walls so white They just might eat me whole I dream in color But I wake up so cold No, don’t make me hear myself sing Lying to myself that I’ll become something Chemicals trying to balance them out Instead of feeling helpless, paralyzed with self-doubt Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my head Get outta my… I need some relief I need some relief Fear is not a stage of grief I need some relief I need some relief Fear is not a stage…
7.
Time Is Weird 04:27
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It’s been one day without you And where do I begin? How do I keep going? Do I trust myself again? At 10 days I call you up I need to understand You say you’ve felt this way a while I guess this is the end Time is a funny thing And as it passes nothing’s changed How long can I be in denial? Since you put my heart on trial At 90 days I reach out Still missing a few of my things You say that you’ve lost them You don’t say you’re sorry You don’t respond again So now it’s been 300 days But it still feels like day one Maybe once it’s been a year This feeling will be gone Time is a funny thing And as it passes nothing’s changed How long can I be in denial? Since you put my heart on trial Time is a funny thing And as it passes nothing’s changed How long can I be in denial? Since you put my heart on trial So now it’s been 1,000 days But 400 with him And I don’t know why I’m still counting Or why I let you win See, you don’t own my days However many I have left Well, I wish I wouldn’t have spent so many Waiting for your love Time is a funny thing And as it passes nothing’s changed How long can I be in denial? Since you put my heart on trial Time is a funny thing And as it passes nothing’s changed How long can I be in denial? Since you put my heart on trial
8.
Deserter 03:18
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I stared out of the blinds through the cracks that my flowers made Should I use throwing stars or throwing shade What difference would it make So I told myself next time He’d have to be different The memory of you Completely diminished I wanted to believe there was a “one” And maybe you were mine Or maybe you just showed up to teach me That I can do it all on my own I’m so tired of my blood freezing when I hear your name I want to feel alive again You’re my north star deserter Just let me go Point me back home And so I told myself next time He’d have to be different He’d have to be British I’m talking to you, Daniel Radcliffe I wanted to believe there was a “one” And maybe you were mine Or maybe you just showed up to teach me That I can do it all on my own Point me back home Point me back home Point me back home Point me back home I wanted to believe there was a “one” And maybe you were mine Or maybe you just showed up to teach me That I can do it all on my own
9.
Your Ghost 04:58
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When you said you didn’t want me anymore I died that night on the kitchen floor They found my body the next day And threw it into outer space Those red lines on my skin Told me where my pain had been You don’t have to worry about me anymore Always begging you for more Giving you a love you didn’t want Cause now I’m free from this world Now I’m your ghost It’s you I haunt Kept alive by answers sought Standing in front of you, I beg you give me rest But my hands just go right through your chest They’ve scrubbed my kitchen down My blood is on your hands now And you don’t have to worry about me anymore Always begging you for more Giving you a love you didn’t want Cause now I’m free from this world And I thought we were happy I thought that you loved me So why didn’t you tell me Before you said you didn’t want me Now you don’t have to worry about me anymore All those friends will keep you wanting more All I gave was love you didn’t want But now I’m free from this world You don’t have to worry about me anymore Always begging you for more Giving you a love you didn’t want Cause now I’m free from this world Cause now I’m free from this world

credits

released February 10, 2023

All songs written by Deanna Sorenson
All songs produced by Cave Radio
Engineered by Colette J. Beckwith
All songs mastered by Ryan Wasoba with Bird Cloud Studios except for "Your Ghost"

Cave Radio is Deanna Sorenson, Colette J. Beckwith, Brandon Wohlford Mason, Charlie Brooks, and Zachary Grese

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Cave Radio St. Louis, Missouri

Indie Rock group from St. Louis.

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